Toronto Blue Jays game.....

I had the good fortune to win 3 tickets to a Blue Jays game, and good ones at that; a couple rowes up from the first base. I head down to Toronto with my friends Kevin Clark and Donny Walsh. We check into a hotel close to the Rogers center, and have pre game drinks by the jerrycan. We get to the park early and order our first $10 glasses of draft. Before the game there is an event where the players chip golf balls into the crowd, which sounds dangerous, but everyone seems to enjoy it. I managed to snag one of them; a Titlest with a Blue Jays logo.

Soon the game starts, and it is as boring as it is watching it on TV. But one of the opposing players fouls one over our heads, and it bounces off someone and lands in my lap... Yippee, a golf ball and a baseball!! Time for another $30 round of beer! During the 7 inning stretch, some bambinos come out with a t-shirt cannon. They fire one our way, but just to our left,, and it hits a towel head in the head and bounces into my lap. Now I have won 3 things! Another $30 round of beer is ordered. Yes, I have won about $7.00 worth of prizes and still order $30 rounds of beer. Shortly thereafter I have to go to the bathroom and so does Kevin, so we leave our seats and my treasures with Donny to guard. We get to the men's room, and I know I'm in trouble because I can hardly aim to get my pee into the urinal and not in my back pocket. Me and Kevin head back to our seats. As we go through the gate we see there is a commotion going on down below. We joke that it is probably some drunk getting thrown out. On our way to our seats we see in fact that it is Donny Walsh getting the heave ho. I ask him where my loot is, and he just says the towel head started something that he wanted to finish. Me and Kevin go to our seats in time to watch the Jays lose.

OK, that is behind us, time to hit the bars of Toronto and have a good time. Before that we ask a policeman where we can pick up Donny in the morning. We jump in a cab and ask the cabdriver to take us to the best bar in the city. We are soon dropped off at a mostly black exterior and interior bar that played only a deep bass chord, intermixed what we can only guess is a jackal screaming while getting plowed in the back end by a hyena. We leave and jump in another cab.

This cab drops us off in a bar with more or less our music and lots of girls dancing. The beer is reasonable and we soon have a couple of chicks that we are feeding bullshit too. IE, I never knew that Kevin was from Australia and was a ski instructor in Austria. Of course he didn't know that I was Scottish and owned a distillery on the shore of Lock Scnell. We were having a great time! Then Kevin noticed some big dude pushing a chick, and of course had to interfere. He walked up to the guy and asked him if he wanted to push around someone his own size? I never actually seen his right hand move, but soon Kevin was reeling from a vicious right jab from this guy. It rocked Kevin, but instead of getting upset, he actually admired the dudes fast hands. By now the pushed chick had left, so we invited the big dude to our table for beers. We got along grandly.

The next thing I know I walking around outside by myself. In the distance I see the CN Tower, so I know that is where our hotel is. I head in that direction, crossing several busy streets on the way. All of a sudden, with the tower in the background, I discover that I'm on a back street that is dark, no streetlights. I wonder how I've gotten myself into this, and attempt to back track to find a better path to the CN Tower, and this just gets me into darker streets. I walk down a street, and before I know it, get approached by a guy. He asks "What the hell you doing down here boy?" A thought flashed through my mind to answer him that I was down here plotting a new location for a KFC, but instead just replied "just trying to make my way to my hotel". He says this ain't no place for tourists, and I answer that I reckon not. He pulls out a small flashlight and lights up my face. I'm trying to put on a face of fearlessness with just a touch of aggression. Somehow he asked me if I'm a soldier. I say yes I was. He says follow me and guides me through the area to the nearest lit up area on the way to the CN Tower, Rogers Center, and my hotel. He tells me that I should probably not visit this area of Toronto again. I thank him and head towards my hotel.

I stagger into the hotel lobby and get to the elevator. I go up and down the elevator until I find my floor. I focus with one eye on the room number on the card, and still can't make out anything else but the first number which is 6 which means the sixth floor. After an hour of trying my card in every door, I finally find one that lights up green and I'm allowed in. Kevin is on the couch with a half eaten pizza on the coffee table. The mini bar has one beer left and I crack it open and have a slice of pizza. As I eat pizza and drink beer, I think that this may have been a once in a lifetie Toronto night.At least I sure hope it is ,,!!